


If everything could ever feel this real forever

by superatomic



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-09-20 06:20:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17017356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superatomic/pseuds/superatomic
Summary: Alternate take on the Pilgrim attack. Canon divergent.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> coauthored by [anon-e-mousse](https://anon-e-mousse.tumblr.com/)

Leonard sat on his bed with his hand in front of his face, wiggling his fingers slowly. His hand had been grown back and was in complete working order, but at times Leonard swore he felt tingles. No, not tingles. He felt as if his hand wasn’t really attached at all. Today was one of those days.

His private musings were interrupted by a loud pop followed by all the lights in the ship going dark for a few seconds before Gideon kickstarted the backup generator. It was lucky the ship was parked. Cloaked in an abandoned warehouse district in Central City. Don’t ask what year because Leonard had lost track with all the back and forth they had been doing. He didn’t exactly care either.

Pushing himself off his bed, Leonard thought to investigate the pop least someone else who had stayed behind on the ship decided to blow themselves up. He headed to the lab and sure enough there were smoke vapors drifting out the door. Rounding the door, Leonard leaned against the frame, a look of disdain on his features, softened a little by a glint of amusement in his eyes.

“What on Earth are you trying to do now, Raymond?”

He’d been tinkering in the lab, not entirely happy that he had been left behind on this mission, but understanding the threat his future tech could be if he accidentally misplaced a part of the suit again. Even though that had only happened once and he still felt as if he was being punished for it. So he made himself busy on board while the others were on the mission, he wasn’t entirely sure if Leonard had been left behind to keep an eye on him or if it was the other way around.

The engineer hadn’t expected to short out the lighting system on board by rerouting an extra bit of power through his workstation to charge up the piece of tech he’d been fiddling with. When the back up system kicked in, he smiled up at the ceiling, “thanks Gideon.”

Correcting his error, the ship’s systems went back to normal and he reset everything, though was distracted by the voice at the door. “Oh, hi Leonard!”

Smiling at his teammate, Ray put down his tools, making sure the soldering iron was switched off. “Just messing about with a growth setting for the suit, you?”

They had been traveling together long enough that Leonard no longer felt the urge to roll his eyes at Ray’s cheerful greeting. It was still slightly annoying how _pleasant_ Ray was at all times but Leonard was making progress. In fact, he could say he liked Raymond. Not out loud, but the feeling was there.

“Bird watching, apparently.” Leonard murmured, pushing himself off the door frame and entering the room fully. He had always had a fascination with seeing how things worked, it made doing his own repairs on things easier when he was little. Now he could pull a number of things apart and back together in his sleep, prime example being his Cold Gun.

He came to stand beside Ray, ignoring the other man in favor of looking over the schematics sprawled out on the desk. Picking one up, he studied it. “You know, there is such a thing as too many upgrades.”

“Bird? Oh. Me.” Ray shook his head slightly, a little amused smile on his face. He didn't believe that the words were meant harshly. After all they had been through, he felt as if he and Leonard were in a better place than after the gulag. 

Watching the older man as he came into the lab, he noted the spark of interest in Captain Cold’s eyes as he looked over the blueprints spread over his desk. It made sense, he recalled Leonard's words back at Savage’s place during their failed heist, and his own.. “I still say you’d be a brilliant engineer. If you ever want to come down here and take a look at things, you’re always welcome.”

A little laugh left him at the frank appraisal of his efforts. “True, but it might come in handy.”

Leonard shook his head slightly as it took a moment for Ray to process his bird quip. It honestly wasn’t meant as a harsh comment and Leonard was glad that it hadn’t been received that way. As loathe as he was to admit it, Leonard actually didn’t think ill of Raymond much anymore. The Eagle Scout had grown on him.

“And I still say pass.” Leonard’s voice was a lazy drawl as he read over the components listing in his hand, before placing it down gently and looking over another. “I wasn’t brought aboard this ship because of that particular skill.” The offer to take a look at things was intriguing but Leonard couldn’t show he was too interested. He was right. The ship already had enough engineering and science types. The skillset Rip brought him onboard for was more clandestine.

“You’re not a Swiss army knife, Raymond. You don’t have to have everything covered.” Blue eyes looked up and sent a meaningful gaze toward the scientist. “We’re a team. Teams are supposed to cover each other. Or something like that.”

Nodding in response to Leonard’s reply, he realised that the thief wouldn’t be able to see it as he was still engrossed in the papers. Getting to his feet, he wandered over to the second desk his work had spilled onto, sorting through the components scattered over the surface and neatly putting them away. Shaking his head slightly as his vision blurred, he ran his fingers over his cheekbone, wincing slightly when it felt tender.

“Ah, but I can be Swiss army knife _size_. My suit is useful, and always in my pocket, so I guess that counts?” Brown eyes met blue when Leonard looked over at him, and he tried to smile, but his lip felt split. “Leonard..”

He didn’t have chance to finish the rest of his thought, let alone voice it as he was suddenly thrown across the room with the force of a massive, _invisible_ hit. Pain bloomed across his back, hips, ribs… everywhere and he tried to curl against the phantom attacks. What was happening?

Leonard’s eyes widened almost comically as he watched Ray thrown by nothing and curl against an attack that looked to be coming from nowhere. “What the…?” he muttered, hand drawing his cold gun. His right hand still felt disconnected so he switched the gun over to his left, hoping he could still remain true with his aim. 

There was a pause in the attacks on Ray and Leonard’s eyes darted around the room for any sign of the invisible intruder. Nothing. That was extremely disturbing.

Moving closer to Ray, Leonard knelt down beside him, placing the gun on the ground and reaching out an uncharacteristically gentle hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Don’t know.” If he sounded scared, it was because he was terrified and not at all worried to show it. He felt as if he was going ten rounds in a kickboxing ring and losing every one of them. He tried to elaborate on his answer, hand grabbing at Leonard’s on his shoulder. “Call for backup.. take the jump ship..” A cough that brought up blood interrupted the sentence and another yelp of pain escaped him as his ribs cracked.

“She’s found me.. Past me..” 

It was the only explanation he could think of that made any kind of sense. The Pilgrim was after their younger selves and it seemed like she’d chosen to start with him.

Blue eyes filled with concern at hearing the fear in Ray’s voice. Leonard might not express it often but he had grown to care about the rag tag bunch called the Legends. He turned his hand and took Ray’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze to say he was there and listening.

“Med bay for you first.” Leonard’s voice left no room for argument, not that Ray was in any shape to argue. Leonard moved to help Ray stand, ignoring the strain at practically dragging the other man to the med bay. Ray wasn’t exactly the lightest of humans.

Shoving Ray into the bed - in a gentle manner - Leonard barked an order to Gideon to watch over the younger man. Gideon knew it was no time to sass back and just went about scanning Ray and keeping his vitals stable. Assured there was nothing else he could do for Ray and that his teammate was in the best possible care, Leonard then went off to grab Mick and kick the Pilgrim’s ass.

As Leonard carefully took hold of his hand, squeezing slightly in reassurance, a soft smile came to Ray’s face, holding the barest hint of melancholy. Here he was, possibly dying, but _finally_ receiving a sign of affection from the usually guarded man. He liked Leonard, possibly too much, it was why he hadn’t been able to risk the other’s life in Russia. Why he’d kept Mick from that beating, knowing how much Leonard’s partner meant to him.

The firm command had him attempting a comeback, but failing as another blow was delivered to his body somewhere in the past, causing his vision to blur and the world tilt sharply in the present. His breathing became shallower and he tried to take a deeper breath, only to be rewarded with an incredibly sharp pain in his chest. _Pneumothorax._

Ray attempted to assist Leonard as he half carried, half dragged him to the med bay, only just managing to keep himself from being dead weight. As he sank back into the bed and heard Gideon listing his injuries, his hearing and vision started playing up, fading in and out like a badly tuned tv set. He suddenly remembered what he’d said in the lab and as Captain Cold turned to leave panic set in, and he tried to reach for him, just as Gideon administered a sedative.

“Don’t…” _risk yourself for me._

\----

They had managed to save Ray, however, the Pilgrim had gotten away. As soon as they returned to the main ship, Mick grumbled something about going to get a drink but the knowing look in his friend’s eyes said he knew where Leonard was going and that he didn’t have to explain himself. That was the brilliant thing about their partnership. No matter how much they fought or how tense it was between them, Mick and Leonard always knew what the other was thinking.

Leonard gave Mick a brief nod before moving in the opposite direction toward the medbay. Despite knowing Ray would be fine, Leonard still had the urge to check in on the younger man. Glancing in the open door, he saw that Ray was sleeping. The wounds the Pilgrim had inflicted were fading but the attack had still taken a toll on Ray’s body.

He had no idea what the vitals were reading at but it appeared stable. There were no alarms going off so that had to be a good thing, right?

It was odd to see Raymond so still and quiet. As loath as Leonard acted about Ray’s constant chatter, he didn’t like the sight of his teammate so unresponsive. It seemed unnatural.

Suddenly, the door to the medbay opened again and in walked Kendra who stopped in her tracks when she saw Snart. The cool mask slipped back on Leonard’s face and he walked past the reincarnated priestess without saying a word. Let her think whatever she wanted, Leonard didn’t care. He went back to his room, deciding to do some maintenance on his Cold Gun before Rip undoubtedly called a meeting to plot out their next move against the Pilgrim.

\----

Whatever Gideon had dosed Ray with kept him under for both Leonard and Kendra's visits; but by the time the ship had grown quiet and all the crew were asleep, he roused from his sedation. The medbay recliners weren't exactly comfortable, especially when you were slightly too tall for them as he was. So after a brief conversation with Gideon, and only after she deemed him fit enough to discharge himself, the physicist padded out of medical and crept to his own room.

Stripping down to his boxers he checked the fading bruises across his body, biting his lip slightly as he realised how close he'd come to being erased from existence. “Gideon, Leonard and Mick, they're both okay, right?”

“Mr. Snart and Mr. Rory both returned from their confrontation with the Pilgrim unscathed.”

“Good,” Ray nodded, crawling under the covers and trying to settle comfortably. “Thanks, Gideon.”

“You are welcome, Doctor Palmer.”

He didn't even have to ask the AI to dim the lights as she had already done so no sooner than his head touched the pillow. Curling onto the side which ached the least, Ray allowed himself to feel the warm rush of relief that blossomed with the knowledge that Leonard was fine. That despite his delirious, and frankly selfish request, Captain Cold hadn't come to any harm whilst facing the Pilgrim. He’d have to make sure he thanked Leonard later, once he’d slept off his grogginess. 

As he drifted to sleep he imagined he felt Snart's hand on his shoulder again and a little content smile curved his lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ray's benched, Len's amused, and someone is smitten.

The plan was simple. Go back in time to when their younger selves were most vulnerable and kidnap them and bring them on board the Waverider before the Pilgrim got a chance. Seemed pretty straight forward in theory but executing the plan wasn’t without it’s problems. 

Young Stein refused to go with them, wanting to stay with Clarissa. The Pilgrim showed up in the middle of the argument and the Legends had to scramble together a defence but they managed to successfully save the Professor. Teenage Mick and Sara were a bit easier to retrieve but they kept bickering with each other that they had to be placed in separate rooms on board the ship least they do the Pilgrim’s job for her. 

Kendra reincarnated, so she was safe from threat and Rip was tied to the timeline in such a way that he could not be removed. Which just left Leonard and Jax to collect, and a safe haven to be found. At least, that's what Ray could discern as he hobbled onto the bridge at the tail end of his teammates’ discussion. The engineer had been lurking just beyond the door for most of the meeting, unsure if he would be scolded for being out of medical. 

“Where are you going to keep the youngsters? Pretty sure little Mick has emptied the refrigerator already. I don't think we can afford to feed two.” He sat heavily in the first chair he came to, looking up at the others who’s expressions ranged from concerned to annoyed, and in Rip’s case resigned, like a tired parent. 

“Rest assured, Doctor Palmer, I have a place in mind where we can deposit our young Legends for safekeeping.” Rip _sounded_ like a tired parent too, so Raymond nodded, leaning his head back against the chair and decided to remain silent for the remainder of the meeting. Evidently he wasn't ready to be up and about just yet as the next thing he knew someone was patting his shoulder to wake him. 

“Hmm?” Brown eyes opened reluctantly and he blinked focusing on a concerned but beautiful face, “Hi, Leonard.”

Everyone had been briefed on the plan. They were splitting into two teams to recover the last two remaining younger versions of the Legends. As they made a move to split into their teams, Leonard noticed how still Ray was and moved closer with a furrowed brow. The other man was just sleeping but clearly he had over exerted himself too soon.

Reaching forward, Len patted the younger man’s shoulder to rouse him and make him go back to bed. He ignored the sleepy doe eyes that blinked awake at him, not thinking it was endearing at all. At least, outwardly.

“Come on, sleepyhead.” Leonard offered his other hand to assist Ray in getting out of the chair. “Back to bed with you.”

Taking hold of Leonard’s hand, he used his other to push himself up out of the chair, trying not to put too much of his weight onto his fellow Legend. Although in the back of his mind he remembered well being half carried to medical by the other man. “You taking me to bed?”

Had he been in full control of his conscious mind, he would have blushed and stammered an apology once he realised what he’d said. However sleepiness retained its hold over him and he completely missed the double meaning to the words. “Thank you, and thank you for going after her. I shouldn’t have asked you to. I’m glad you’re not hurt because of me.”

They were still holding hands and Ray’s focus, as well as his gaze, was suddenly drawn to that fact. It was nice, he decided, holding hands with Leonard. Something he’d like to continue doing, and not just because either of them needed assistance standing. Squashing that thought, he started to walk in the direction of his room, loosening his hold on Leonard so Captain Cold could let go completely should he so wish.

“When are you heading out to get mini you? Or are you fetching mini Jax?” Ray asked, silently proud of the fact he’d managed to steer his brain back onto work and not fantasies of lacing his fingers with Snart’s while they attended team meetings, or ate dinner. 

“I guess I'll be benched for today,” Ray sighed as the door to his room came into view. He hated not being able to help. But he knew he needed to rest up, hopefully with his past self healing in hospital, his own bruising should vanish quickly. Placing his hand against the lock pad, he watched the door slide open then turned his attention back to Leonard. “This is me, be safe out there.” A split second of madness overtook him then, which he could blame on the drowsiness, and he leaned forward to press a kiss to Leonard’s cheek, “for luck.”

Leonard just fixed Raymond with a cool blank gaze at being asked if he was taking the other man to bed. It was obvious to him that Ray was still a bit delirious so he just left the question hanging without response. The other man would realise what he said eventually.

He let him babble on about thanking him and what have you, continuing to hold his hand as he guided Ray to his room. He definitely wasn’t doing this out of hidden feelings or whatever. It was just Leonard attending to a vital member of the team because he may need him at a later date. At least, that is what Leonard was telling himself.

“I’ll be headed to 1972 with Sara and Kendra within the hour. Shouldn’t be long.” Leonard finally humored Ray with a response, aware he had yet to let go of the other man. He nodded when Ray said that he was benched, pausing at the door of the scientist’s room. “Mick is also staying behind. He is convinced young Mick is stealing from him so wants to keep an eye on him. Your mission will be to make sure my partner doesn’t kill his younger self.”

A smirk appeared on the thief’s face at being told to be safe. “Always.” He looked away, spotting Sara at the far end of the corridor. He was about to follow her when he felt a kiss pressed to his cheek ‘for luck’. Leonard turned curious eyes back on Raymond, trying to read the other man’s expression. Unable to find what he was looking for, Leonard made a move to leave. “Right. See you ‘round, Princess.” 

“Mick’s babysitting?” Ray wasn’t dopey enough to let that piece of information pass without a quizzical eyebrow raise in response. He wondered briefly if the former arsonist would harm his younger self if he was angry enough. Maybe he’d try and scare some sense into himself, but surely he wouldn’t really kill the teenaged Mick? Then again, he _did_ have a short fuse.

The physicist would later blame his thinking about Mick, for his lapse of thought when he kissed Leonard. As it was, he could only watch politely as the thief scrutinized him for a long moment before turning to leave, disappearing down the corridor, and presumably out into 1972 Central City. Crawling back into bed, Ray pulled the pillow over his head and stifled a frustrated grumble as his brain finally caught up with what he had done. Namely given Captain Cold a good luck kiss. He was surprised, and relieved, that Leonard hadn’t reacted badly. Hopefully the other man would chalk the action up to Ray being out of sorts after his beating and still dosed up on meds. Nothing more, because really, he didn’t need to know that Ray was harbouring feelings for him.

“Gideon?” Ray moved the pillow away from his face enough to address the AI.

“Yes, Doctor Palmer.”

“Can you wake me if Mick starts fighting himself?”

“Of course, Doctor Palmer. I can also let you know when Mr. Snart returns, if you desire.”

Turning a shade of red that would match his Atom suit, Ray shook his head wordlessly at the ceiling before hiding himself completely under his covers. “I don’t desire Snart.. I mean.. No thank you, Gideon.”

\----

It wasn’t Gideon who roused Ray from his doze, but Kendra wearing her full Hawkgirl gear and handing him a small bundle in a navy blue blanket. “Look after baby Snart.” He wasn't given any further explanation before Kendra vanished and he was left holding the baby. Literally.

Looking down at the tiny version of his teammate, Ray was caught in the curious bright blue gaze of baby Len and he felt his chest tighten. Whatever was going on outside the ship, Leonard was his responsibility, and he would protect him no matter what. “Hi, Leo, I'm Ray.” He introduced himself to the infant in a soft voice, a little smile on his face as Leonard blinked slowly at him before yawning. 

“I guess it's tiring, being kidnapped, but we'll have you back with your Mommy in no time.” Ray continued talking to the bub, retreating back into his room and sitting on the bed. “You’ll just have to hang out with me for a while, then we'll take you to the safe place Rip found. Everything will be OK, little one. I promise.”

“Who’s Haircut talking to?” Mick had paused just outside of Ray’s door as Leonard tried to get his partner to follow him off the ship. He knew Mick would be pissed if he missed his chance to get a shot at the Pilgrim. But Mick decided in that moment he was curious about Ray.

Leonard turned and inwardly sighed in exasperation yet remain completely composed on the surface. “Does it really matter, Mick?” He fixed Mick with a cool gaze, one that seemed to snap the other man out of whatever fascination he had with Ray Palmer’s room. The two men then made their way outside the ship to join the battle that had started without them.

The mission to retrieve baby Jax did not go as smoothly as planned. The Pilgrim turned up and took Jax’s father hostage unless they handed over the baby and the other mini versions of the Legends they were protecting on board the ship.Naturally Legends being Legends, they weren’t going to roll over for any fear tactics and threatening demands.

“Nice of you to join us Mr Rory, Mr Snart,” Rip shouted over the sounds of the fray. 

Mick grunted in reply, but Leonard didn’t bite, instead firing directly at the Pilgrim. The woman barely flinched as she deflected the icy blast, slowing it down enough to push the energy into the ground just beyond her feet.

Mick’s fire and Rip’s revolver bolt suffered the same fate, though Firestorm’s blast did manage to rattle the Pilgrim somewhat while her attention was directed at the three armed men before her. Narrowing his eyes, Len took note of this and glanced at Mick barking out an order, “cross the streams.”

“Boss?” Mick looked hesitant, and rightfully so, knowing the reaction that would be caused by heat and cold meeting. 

“Do it.” They didn’t have time, ironic for time travelers, for hesitation. Flicking the power up to full, Leonard took aim, a few feet in front of the Pilgrim catching Mick doing the same out of the corner of his eye and giving his partner the tiniest of nods.

Fire and ice met in a burst of energy, knocking Leonard and Mick off their feet, and more importantly sending the Pilgrim staggering backward. Making the most of the distraction, Sara managed to get in close to the Pilgrim and was laying into her with staffs and feet. The former assassin successfully managed to draw the Time Bounty Hunter away from her captive, which allowed Kendra to swoop in and snatch Jax’s father, carrying him into the relative safety of the ship.

“Back. Everyone. Now.” There was a note of urgency in Rip’s voice, not usually so prominent, but clear in the order as he shepherded his crew back into the cargo bay. “Sara.”

The White Canary didn’t need the order to chivvy her, as her staff slammed into the base of the Pilgrim’s skull with enough force to knock out a normal person. It was enough to daze the Time Masters’ Assassin and Sara sprinted for the ship, darting up the ramp just as Firestorm flew past her and the hatch closed.


End file.
